My struggles with adhd and how I overcome it
This will be a continuing series as it’s quite a lot of things and I can only fit so much into one blog post.
I struggled a lot with organization and keeping a clean house. I would lose things often, things would be in a pile of “important most likely”. Then I would in a panic rush through looking through my things to find the thing I needed in those piles. Sometimes I wouldn’t find it and then would ensure my self shame. Today’s topic won’t be about RSD (Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria), but some of the many tools I use to keep my place organized and clean.
I have a “do it now not later” policy. This doesn’t work for all things. What it does work for is scheduling. I use a scheduling app on my phone that has been the most consistent calendar for me because I always have my phone on me. It also reminds me as frequently as I need of my events. When I have a doctor’s appointment? I put it in the calendar immediately as I am scheduling it with the doctor. Even if that means the doctor has to wait a minute for me to fiddle with my phone. If I have a meeting with a friend (who I know also has ADHD), I will also make sure we both put it in the calendar together at the same time. If there’s is anything that requires me to be somewhere on time, I put it in immediately. This applies to bills as well. I set up the automatic payments as soon as it arrives in my hands. If I don’t have time immediately, it sits in front of me or where I absolutely cannot ignore it when I have some time to get it done.
Baskets. I use baskets to organize things more easily so that my place looks clean and I can still easily find everything I need. What’s also coupled with this is keeping these baskets where I’m actually most likely to use them. I have baskets for my skin care, another for my make up. Both are in my TV stand because I like to do these things on the couch while watching TV. I refuse to do it at the vanity so keeping it there never worked and I moved it to where I use it. I have baskets within my medicine cabinet organizing all the different things in there. Bandaids? Basket. Cold meds? Basket. Disinfectant? There’s only one so it occupies the space in between the baskets. Even my pantry is full of baskets for pasta, snacks, baking goods, seasonings etc. It also makes it look really chic and organized and when I get home from grocery shopping it’s very easy to just toss in because it is low effort (important - it must be low effort for ADHD).
I do something I call “in that direction”. I definitely stole this from an ADHD content creator but I have found it so useful in my life and for my clients. What I do is, if I’m in the living room and going to the restroom I pass the kitchen. Before I go to the restroom I check if I have something that belongs in a place on the way to the restroom. Dishes? Trash? I pick them up and take them with me and set them where they are to go. I know this can be daunting in it’s own way if it includes more steps than setting it down. What I do is just that - set it down nearest to where it is supposed to go. When I go back to the kitchen later (which I usually will) I can finish the steps to cleaning up. Trash is easy though because it just goes in the bin. Laundry is my worst nightmare, however. I will share my tips on doing the tasks that feel like screeching in your brain later, but for now when I am done I organize the folded laundry based on where it is supposed to go. Then put it back in the basket based on when I will reach those places with the basket (I usually pass the powder room first with our towels so I put the towels at the top, closet clothing is last because I get to the closet last). Then the basket goes back to it’s home.
Getting out of the doom scroll. This one is tricky because it depends on why you are stuck. Let’s imagine it’s because of the overwhelm freeze. You are overwhelmed because the task is just too big with way too many subtasks within it. For example: Cleaning the house. Cleaning the kitchen. That’s actually so many tasks! Instead I break it down into smaller things. The kitchen does need to be cleaned, but what in the kitchen needs the most cleaning right now? Even better, what in the kitchen do I have the energy to clean right now? Wipe down the countertops? Ok do that and only that. Then when you’re up, you can decide what you have the time and energy to do next. I only commit myself to one or two things and accept the rest will need to wait. If you can get into a routine that works for you where you wipe the countertop after you use it, even better. If not, that’s ok too. It’s about finding the systems that work best with you.
The most important part of all of this is to be gentle with yourself. It’s OK if you’re not good at this in the beginning. If you’re just starting out and the mess is still large, that’s OK. No one has accomplished anything in one day. Take your time and celebrate your climb to success.
