How not to crash out
When someone really hurts you, it honestly feels like the best way to get back at them is to crash out.
But in our daily lives that isn’t always the option we can take, is it?
Sometimes we’re at work or this specific relationship needs maintaining for some reason or the other. It could be that you need that relationship for survival right now. It could be that maybe your emotions are heightened and you don’t want to crash out on this person because it’s unfair to them. I’m sure there are many other reasons here too.
So how do you stop yourself from crashing out? What is the magic that can help you maintain your emotions, especially if you struggle with RSD (Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria).
Honestly? Take a break for some “me” time before you respond.
Take the rest of the day off work if that’s an option for you. I know that it’s a privilege not all of us can do. If it’s not something you can do, create some distance between yourself and that person. Take a 10-minute break here and there throughout the day and just breathe, look at something that soothes you (flowers, your pets, kids - yours not random kids).
Breathe, think, feel, do soothing activities within your ability to do them.
Call a friend over if you can and spend time with them after work.
Someone who loves you just being there with you can help you feel better.
Even if you aren’t ready to talk about it yet, being in their presence can help. If you are ready, venting to them will help process it all.
Avoid being alone and ruminating. If you’re an introvert and want to manage your emotions, that’s ok. You can take a walk, do some art, something that releases the negative energy and allows you to process the emotions so that you can come back calm and collected. This will look different for everyone. They call ADHD and neurodivergence a spectrum for a reason; we’re all so very different even within the same symptomatic mess.
The next day, you can try to address what happened in a more professional manner after you’ve had a moment to chill. Taking a break to heal that inner hurt is really important. Even if it’s a romantic relationship, being clear and letting your partner know you need a moment to process will make a great difference in your relationship satisfaction.
Remember, we’re all human and we all fuck up. It’s more about the recovery and how well you can do it that will turn the tables for good.
Like all things, it’s a skill we learn. It’s ok if you’re used to crashing out every day and while practicing this you only crashed out 6 times instead of 7 this week. That’s still progress. Celebrate every step forward while you try to reduce the habit that is harming you.
